My misery has enjoyed company and although I have ached I don't threaten anybody sometimes I feel more bigness than I've shared with you sometimes I wonder why I quell when I'm not required to I've tried to be small I've tried to be stunted I've tried roadblocks and all my happy endings prevented sometimes I feel it's all just too big to be true I sabotage myself for fear of what my bigness could do fear of bliss and fear of joyitude fear of bigness (and ensuing solitude?) I could be golden I could be glowing I could be freedom but that could be boring sometimes I feel this is too scary to be true I sabotage myself for fear of losing you this talk of liberation makes me want to go lie down under the covers til the terror of the unknown is gone I could be full I could be thriving I could be shining sounds isolating sometimes I feel this is too good to be true I sabotage myself for fear of what my joy could do